MY REVIEW: 3 out of 10
It’s not a fatal flaw for a film to start with a statement which is patently untrue. ‘Casablanca’ made the dubious claim that the North African city of the same name was a key point of departure for refugees from Nazi-occupied Europe, but it didn’t exactly hurt the movie.

And though this is the only time you’ll hear ‘Nativity’ mentioned alongside one of the greatest movies in Hollywood history, it’s not an enormous problem that this film is based on a premise which is similarly hard to swallow: that anyone other than the children taking part or their family members is that interested in a school Nativity play.

It’s not true, but it’s harmless enough. What’s wrong with the film is that it’s unconvincing and lazy on a much more fundamental level.

Admittedly it has a certain amount of charm built in thanks to the presence of some cute kids, and is astutely cast with a kind of ‘Who’s Who?’ of modern British comedy performers, all of whom deliver confident performances. But also familiar performances; none of them are called upon to do anything they haven’t done before.

However this overlong, shoddily-directed film saves the worst until last, with not just a taste of the Nativity entertainment that’s been in preparation but several whole numbers, all of them dreadful, and which I only wish were instantly forgettable. I haven’t enjoyed myself less at the cinema in years, and speaking as someone who loves Christmas, those songs almost put me right off it – for life.